What I am is What I am

I am not any one. 

I am not any one person. 

I am not any one way. 

I am not any one thing.

I am a lover, a lawyer, a friend, a frenemy, a pacifist and a fighter. I have been cowardly, brave, pure-hearted and deceitful. I can be energetic and lethargic in the space of a second-hand’s journey. I am my own boss, I have been my only confidant and I can be my own worst enemy. I am happy, outgoing, bright, shiny, shy and withdrawn. 

Maybe you think, “Well, yes, Lauren, you are a little wonky and idiosyncratic and even extremist at times. I’ve always known that about you.” 

But here’s the craziest part — you are not any one, either. You are not any one way, any one “type” of person, anything fixed at all. 

You hold a multitude. You have acted the fool, been the smartest person in the room, felt accomplished and sat in the dark, contemplating your failures. You have been outgoing and shy, honest and wily. 

I am a myth. You are a myth. The idea that I “am” any certain way — it’s a complete fiction. Don’t underestimate your attachment to your first drafts (even shitty ones), but push yourself to edit ruthlessly. 

We are the authors. 

Do you love the story you are writing? You are living it, so shouldn’t you be loving it? 

Life is a choose-your-own-ending novel, and the publisher is awaiting your final draft. I can’t wait to read all about who you choose to become.

Multitude